Um… Where do I begin?
Last week on The Real Housewives of Atlanta:
The move to Sunday nights came jam-packed with even more howl-inducing one liners from the ladies, and more moments that were sure to be water-cooler fodder at someone’s job the next day.
Kim… I. Just. Can’t.
So Kandi is trying to make Lawrence “the next RuPaul”, which is possibly doable after he belted out a fine tuned voice to her producer friends. Too bad we can’t (ever) say the same for Kim, who was jealous of Lawrence and didn’t care too much about Kim’s new track for her, “The Ring Didn’t Mean A Thing.” NeNe didn’t even care too much for the song either, but I heavily feel that Kim has ridden her singing career train to its last stop. Not even auto-tune can save the mess Kim belted out. And while the verdict is still out for “Google Me” (which was not produced by Kandi), I think Kim might want to dust off that LPN degree, stat.
When Kandi suggested she go back to her singing coach… LOVE! Hey, Kim? People generally don’t take kindly to folks who waltz into their profession and assume that any geek off the street can do what they do. It’s insulting. That’s why Jan didn’t coddle you. She’s checking bullshit at the door, ya’ dig? Pshaw, says Kim. She sang in eighth grade and at her brother’s graduation! She can sing along with anything! She has a good ear for music! As an “artist” *snort*, she can’t perform songs she doesn’t think are up to her standards. Oh. Hell. No.
Plus, am I the only one who thought Kim and her dad were dropping outrageous prices for her crap? I mean while she was shooting for astronomic prices, her dad was shooting for crack-head low prices for stuff that would’ve sold reasonably well on eBay. I don’t know where they learned their bargaining skills from, but they might want to learn to actually discuss prices instead of shouting the nonsense that was coming out their mouth. I’m just saying…
[Oh! BTW, is anyone else upset that Niece Nash from Clean House is ‘retiring’ from hosting the show?! I literally died when I heard the news.]
NeNe and Gregg’s marriage got super ugly tonight in front of Peter and Cynthia with Gregg getting offended about something he thought NeNe said about him. For Gregg to have his guard up as super tight as he did, and for him to have made the basement into an “apartment”, it goes to show how crazy the Leakes’ marriage has gotten. Plus, throw in NeNe’s notion that Gregg cheated on her and you got a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.
Plus, Kim comparing NeNe and Gregg’s marriage to her time with Big Poppa was so… self-centered and misinformed. Seriously. Mistress vs. decades of marriage is not a compatible topic to drink over. It’s like a mother sharing a drink with the murderer of her child. It didn’t mesh. At all.
Phaedra’s Mommy Dearest Moment #432
As Kim, NeNe, and Cynthia discussed baby talk with Phaedra, she still brought up the crazy with talks of the baby being 8lbs at 7 months and wanting to have it taken out immediately. NeNe went into immediately vomiting one-liners left and right during her commentary.
Kim served as back up this week since she has a LPN and knows enough to question Phaedra’s ill-conceived plans for a premature birth. My Twitter feed went wild as people were doing everything from demanding medical records to threatening to call child services on Phaedra as she continued to gab about her plans for the baby.
Like Andy Cohen, I can’t wait for Phaedra to explain herself when she’s invited to Watch What Happens Live! one day. The call-ins alone might be worth the price of admission onto the set that night.
Instead of being bickering parents and going at each other’s throats, Cynthia and Leon had a very mature and adult conversation about Cynthia’s plans with Peter and getting married. It was a breath of fresh air to see the two talk on a leveled manner and be genuinely civilized about it. I really think that a lot of young people (and older) should take a good look at this as proof that you don’t have to act a fool when it comes to your ex. Bravo, Cynthia and Leon! (No pun intended).
The other piece of randomness was the appearance of former Destiny’s Child singer LaTavia Roberson, who Phaedra called to her office to recount her fall from fame. It was was like a mini-sode of the TVOne show Life After, leaving you to ask what was the relevance of it all. Phaedra told LaTavia that she has the Midas Touch and can help LaTavia get out of sad times of booze and anger.
If LaTavia really believed that lie, then I feel even more sorry for her than I did when The Knowles Family gave her the finger and a pink slip from Destiny’s Child.
Ohh almost forgot! Remember when Kim arrived at Sheree’s house? Sheree tells Kim about Dr. Fake, saying he’s “supposed to be a doctor of psychology”. Kim asks, naturally, if he makes money, and Sheree doesn’t think so because he stayed at the Holiday Inn, which is, like, where hobos camp out and they charge by the hour, based on Kim and Sheree’s cackles.
And why was this episode so She-less by Sheree?
So what else from last week’s episode had you guys rolling in laughter? Send it to me in my 'Ask Box'
Next week: Sheree is doing Atlanta’s local version of Dancing With the Stars and Peter proposes to Cynthia.